this is not about tv
been reading and thinking which for me is an increasingly dangerous combo.
in his attack upon christendom soren kierkegaard said:
what every religion in which there is any truth aims at and what christianity aims at decisively is a total transformation in a man to wrest from him through renunciation and self-denial all that and precisely that to which he immediately clings in which he immediately wants his life. this sort of religion as man understands it is not what he wants.
there are so many things in my life that i know are distracting me from relating to christ. so many things that draw my attention away and are utterly worthless diversions.
for example: i watch tv. mainly football but also a couple other shows. in all honesty i watch them for 2 basic reasons. to be entertained and to have something to talk about in conversations. what redeeming quality is there in the dallas cowboys or lost? better yet what kingdom good comes from my watching them?
so here is the part where i cancel my satellite service. but i dont. i keep it. and i keep watching. diverting. wasting time. is it wrong to watch tv? this question is nearly ironic in our culture where even people who claim to follow christ spend more time watching than praying or furthering the kingdom. and the implied answer in the eyes of the watchers is obvious – “dont be silly.” or “thats going too far.”
likewise – i dont want to be told i cant watch tv. or movies. or follow other diversions. but there is this gnawing in me that i may find 1000 better ways to spend my time.
and what about my wife and children? they watch shows every day but do they know christ? do they relate to him? am i being faithful with them? i dont want to be the hard husband and father who doesnt allow anything but i also want to be the husband and father whose wife and children know their christ.
this is way bigger than tv. it involves every aspect of how i spend my time. and thats the real problem. the time isnt mine to spend. its gods. he gave me life and an allotted time to live and i want to honor him with it.
but this means less of me. less entertainment. less diversion. and when im no longer diverted and entertained im afraid the reality of this broken world will crush me. and if it crushes me how will i carry the fire?
this shows my lack of faith. my lack of trust in god to be and do what he promised. ive convinced myself that im faithful and that i am one of the few who understands but i chase after all the same worldly garbage as everyone else. so am i a christ follower or merely a christ appreciator?
the answer turns me inside out and leaves my self-deception a corpse.
if im going to decrease ive got to get on with decreasing. i cant mindlessly hope it just happens. ive got to pray it and live it. bc until all i want for my life is only what christ wants for my life it will still be my life and thats nothing more than an entertaining diversion for anyone else.