funnelcaking is a verb
back in august i was sitting under a canopy in a field listening to rock music with thousands of people at an event called rock the desert while talking to one of my youth when the preacher guy on stage whose mic was so amped that it sounded like he was speaking in tongues said something about not funnelcaking. the young man and i stopped our conversation and looked at the stage that we couldnt really see for all the other canopies and then back at each other.
my first thot was – did he just say funnelcaking? is that what hes preaching about? is it really a sin to eat what basically amounts to fried flour with sugar on it? and if so how had the venue organizers been so careless in allowing the funnelcake concession stand to ply such evil? and did the preacherman know of its presence? was he going to end his sermon with a rallying cry to destroy the temple of wickedness selling this vile creation to these unsuspecting victims?
or was there an even more sinister method to his madness?
some of the older guys in my group have a bit of slang terminology that runs along this same line. according to them when a guy ditches his friends to hit on a girl thats called caking. there was one in particular who had a very bad habit of doing so and he became known as cake. tho there seems to be some disagreement as another one of the guys thot the girls were known as cake. regardless the idea was plain enough.
so was this preacher onto it? was caking a much broader slang terminology than i imagined? were teenagers everywhere caking? and if so was funnelcaking…
please god no.
while anxiously looking for a way to hide the powdery evidence on my plate and jot down notes for a new bible study series on the dangers of ditching your friends to hit on girls i listened intently for a few moments and it turned out he did not in fact say funnelcaking at all. instead his sermon was apparently about the dangers of fornicating. which was a huge relief as i popped the last little chunk in my mouth and headed over to the trash can on my way to the band merch tables to buy my wife a swtichfoot shirt.
i doubt i will think of funnelcakes in the same way ever again.