its just not that important

answering machine

my answering machine has 23 messages on it. you may think this means i am either popular or owe a lot of money. but the truth is that this is an unlisted number and we havent given out. not even to friends. the only people who know this number are supposed to be the phone company and us. but somehow…

…and i dont want to sound as if i dont trust the phone company here…

a wide assortment of businesses and banks and otherwise commercial entities have discovered the number. now maybe they have super-sleuths constantly working to discover hidden numbers in the telephone matrix but somehow i doubt it.

so im going to delete these messages but the machine i have is the type where you have to delete them as they play so i generally get to hear at least the first few seconds of every single message. and what i found as i listened is that these are 23 very important messages.

no joke.

every single one of them said so in the first few seconds. the exact phrasing  varies only slightly. one begins “we have a very important message for you…” while another starts off “this is a very important message…” but they are all saying the same thing really: that this is a message i desperately need to hear. its contents are valuable and may even be life changing.

strangely enough every single one of these messages are all so very important that the entities responsible for plaguing my unlisted number with them were concerned enough to have automated voices deliver the vital info.

so yeah – glorified beeps are handling critical material on my behalf.

not that the material is actually critical. or even very important. having listened to at least one of them i can testify that the information is completely unimportant to me. so very unimportant that i think these automated voices are lying. and that really bothers me bc technology shouldnt be employed in the service of falsehood.

so as i sit and ponder whether to place my number on the no-call list that will ensure even more calls from concerned entities with very important information with which to assault my answering machine im beginning to wonder if maybe my fortune wont be made by developing technology that allows me to have an automated voice not merely answer these very important calls but tell them in all its robust automated sincerity to go fragment.

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~ by graceshaker on May 30, 2009.

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