coffee w satan (part ii)

if youve ever seen any movie where there is a guy trying to break into some top secret facility and hes dressed all ninja style and has a ton of gadgets that allow him to get in and out undetected by dropping from the airvents while catching drops of sweat that would have set off the infrared floor….?

yah that isnt satan.

hes actually a lot more like the kool-aid man who busts thru walls and yells: oh yeah! i dont know if hes gotten careless or just picked up some bad habits along the way but to hear it told he used to be quite clandestine.

what im trying to say is that he tried to be sneaky but it didnt work. he had all the stealth of a hungry infant with a soiled diaper. i winked at him when he poked his head out from behind the column and all the giddiness fled out of his face in an instant. he made his way over in a huffing pout and was good and worked up by the time he reached the table where i was seated.

scowling – he yanked the chair from under the table and sat down. i greeted him passively with a nod and continued typing. i was just in the middle of hammering out a thought i really wanted to complete – the kind you know will evaporate if you dont get it down somewhere – when he started making annoying buzzing sounds and looking puzzled as if some other random creature were the cause.

my thought evaporated into the clouded sky and i fought off the slight urge to sulk as i fixed my gaze on the lord of the flies. after some small talk in which he went to great lengths to lie about how many miles he had run that morning he stumbled into his usual routine of haranguing me with various temptations.

expecting too much from the prince of darkness will only set you up for an enormous let-down so i always temper my expectations when he begins to wield his deceptions. i mean seriously – i know hes supposedly adroit at fleecing people but i just cant figure it out because his methods are so excruciatingly obvious.

like the time he tried to convince me that if i wanted to get the attention of my corporate bosses i need to make my coworkers look like idiots. the part thats most bothersome is that it has to have worked before because he has used it on me several times.

but i digress.

that day he was almost begging me to try an extramarital affair with the barista who smiled when she gave me my coffee. he promised shed go for it and that it would be great and that no one would find out and that it could be this little side thing we both were into that would never be anything more than a booty call and on and on.

all it takes is a little observation to realize the things he was promising are never the case. they arent even the exception. in fact if thats ever really happened color me surprised. bc thats not how humans work. its like actually belieiving that when you drink beer while watching football a bunch of skinny models will appear out thin air and dance around you in dallas cowboy cheerleader outfits.

it just doesnt happen no matter how good the beer is.

so i waited until his spiel was at its zenith and then started humming jesus loves me – which always drives him absolutely bonkers. he stood up so forcefully in disgust that his chair almost fell over. he mumbled something about an 11 o’clock and headed back the way hed come. he was just disappearing behind a hedge when the sky released my unfinished thought and i went on typing and enjoying the beautiful day.

i often laugh at satan and there is nothing that makes him so angry as when i attack him to his face and tell him that through god i am more than a match for him.

~ martin luther


~ by graceshaker on September 11, 2009.

6 Responses to “coffee w satan (part ii)”

  1. A solid conclusion.

  2. This is what I see as the theme of this story: evil is found in mundane choices, rather than in invitations to blow up the world. Satan doesn’t get us with fiddling contests, or what have you, but rather an invitation to backstab our coworkers or cheat on our wife, none of which is likely to work out, but we do it anyway. The strength of this story is that, regardless of how pathetic this is, it still works.

  3. that wasnt my intent in writing but i love how your perspective gives it a whole other dimension than how i saw it originally.

  4. I praise God you did not blame the barista, as so many of us would have, but saw the real enemy who brought temptation. i believe the ability to see the deceiver so clearly is a gift of discernment, not all see the kool-aid man version, some hear the voice of the snake without looking down in the grass for his origin. You really can write graceshaker, thought provoking and fun to read. keep ’em coming!

  5. Waiting for the “angel of light” episode ;-). Good so far!

  6. Almost seems anti-climactic- but I’m guessing that’s part of the point.

    Satan is almost pitiful to me. He knows how the story ends, and yet he is compelled to continue his futile pursuits. Reminds me of Peter being told that he would deny Christ and then he still does it. And people question God’s sovereignty.

    But this story gets me squirming about something else- these struggles within the mind and heart of the Christian would seem to me to be the battle with one’s own sinful affections and new affections in Christ- so is Satan somehow barging in on our holy war or are you saying he isn’t a fallen angel but our inner man?

    Having the devil talking in my head is disconcerting- and having my head be the devil is just not true. But Christians seem quick to reject that Satan can talk to Christians’ minds- but how else could he tempt and influence? Who has seen a “Satophany”?

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