resignation (part vi)

after the mtg i felt as tho id been run over by a truck which then backed up and ran me over again for good measure before the driver hopped out and gave me a couple swift whacks with a baseball bat. my heart was racing and my mind was in a dumbfounded state of blank pause.

i couldnt think of anything clearly.

after everyone left the pastor and i sat for a few minutes together trying to make sense of it. i told him i wasnt sure what could possibly happen next or how this would play out but that i was having a hard time understanding how i might continue to minister at the church under such circumstances. we agreed to pray about it and parted for the night.

that night my wife told me of how she had been contacted that very afternoon by her former employer about the possibility of returning to the metroplex and taking a job with them again. the timing was just frightening but under the circumstances it seemed like a clear sign. our days in the pine were numbered.

the next morning i sat in his office again having been awake nearly the entire night. he asked wot i thot and i told him again that i couldnt see a way forward with a group that so clearly distrusted my leadership. it seemed obvious to both of us that my departure was immanent.

having planned the entire summers activities i was hoping to stay thru august. the pastor thot it best not to drag things out and wanted me to resign effective in 2 weeks. given the situation that put me and my family in i asked for a compensation package that would allow us to return to the metroplex and get into a home here. he agreed and called a mtg with the personnel committee to talk it over.

this mtg took place the following night on thursday. i tried to explain things in a positive light. i talked about my new plan to return to the metroplex and continue pursuing my seminary degree which had been placed on hold shortly after our arrival in alpine.

but they were curious.

and so i gave them an abridged version of the events and explained that tho there definitely needed to be some changes i could not be a part of bringing them about due to the circumstances. the committee members were in shock and had no idea anything was wrong. i remember thinking at the time that somehow i should have spent much more time with these people but as i understood it i reported to the pastor and he handled things from there.

nevertheless they dismissed me and began deliberating over the compensation package. im thankful that my friend who originally brot me there was on the committee to represent my best interests tho as it turned out i had nothing to worry about. they offered me a generous package that essentially paid me thru the summer while allowing me to leave at the end of may.

and for this i am very grateful.

they held a farewell lunch after the morning service on our final sunday and as it turned out the majority of people at the church were very supportive and sad to see us go. i remember not wanting to have any kind of special recognition but being able to receive encouragement at the lunch was a real blessing in the midst of the turmoil surrounding our exit.

in no time wed moved everything from our home in alpine into storage and were gearing up for a crazy summer. we took a short trip to the metroplex and found a great deal on a house about a mile from where we lived before. the transition seemed to be going well. at the first of july we loaded up a uhaul as well as a truck and horse trailer and made the full days journey home to our new digs where a crew of friends old and new were ready to unload everything into our new place. we were convinced gods providence and blessing were on us.

but i was completely unprepared for the days that followed


~ by graceshaker on October 22, 2009.

2 Responses to “resignation (part vi)”

  1. It sounds like a good deal of ptsd is involved.

  2. I’m waiting to see the following days before I comment much, other than to say it’s amazing how communication is so essential, eh?

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