the suburban beatitudes
blessed are the upper middle class in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of suburbia.
blessed are those who mourn over spilled starbucks for they will be comforted.
blessed are the geeks for they will inheret a small fortune selling a dotcom.
blessed are those who hunger and thirst for mcdonalds for they will be supersized.
blessed are mercy me for they received a grammy.
blessed are the pure in appearance for they will see how much god loves khakis and pique polos.
blessed are the stockbrokers for they will be called the sons of wealth.
blessed are the those who are persecuted for believing jesus is a republican for theirs is the kingdom of the local country club.
blessed are you when others revile you and utter all kinds of truth against you on account of your bloated sense of importance. rejoice and be glad for your reward is a nice 300k mortgage and a lexus. for so they persecuted your rich parents before you.