the great adventure: day 8

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life…” ~Henry David Thoreau in Walden

a good nights sleep under a full sky drifted away slowly like a canoe on a lazy river as morning broke crisp and clear. i lay there wondering how different the valley would look from the floor as opposed to our previous evenings perch on glacier point.

originally we planned on spending the whole day hiking the valley and checking out the various waterfalls, but our timetable didnt work out quite as we hoped. when we awoke we decided to leave our reserved camping spot outside the park in order to try and find a better spot near the valley where we wanted to spend our day.

the road into and through the park is a winding maze to traverse and it took time. as we neared the valley we had mapped out a couple of possible campsites and headed to the nearest one. tamarack flat was a couple miles off the main road down and bumpy dirt path in a nest of trees next to a stream and meadow that was just pristine. unfortunately we drove around almost an hour before realizing it was full.

more time wasted.

we headed further northeast and pulled into white wolf, a larger campground right off the park road. this one seemed full too but after a brief discussion with the camp hosts it appeared there were a couple of openings, so we spent another hour driving, finding and setting up camp. it was further from the valley than we hoped and we had blown almost half the day finding it.

by the time we downed lunch and made it back to the valley it was mid-afternoon. i was extremely frustrated at having wasted so much time. but it occurred to me that this was a recurring theme in my life. i am constantly finding reasons to be discontent where i am and always wanting to look somewhere else for something better.

most recently i had made such a decision that uprooted my family for the second time in 2 years and moved us away from alpine, texas in hopes of something better in the dallas/fort worth area where we had been previously. it only took me a few months to seriously regret that decision, and yet here i was on the great adventure making the same kind of mistake.

which is pretty much how my whole life has unfolded. beauty all around me and i miss a lot of it because im unhappy where i am. i guess being discontent leads to even greater discontentment.

im not entirely sure what it is that churns inside me in such a way but i know it has cost me peace in multiple situations over the course of my life. i secretly like to think of myself as possessing patience and wisdom but time and again i prove that to be a delusion. if we had stayed at our campsite in the sierra national forest we would have been able to enjoy the absolutely mesmerizing beauty of yosemite national park for many more hours than we did. we would have had plenty of time to see nevada falls and vernal falls. we could have hiked to the base of half dome.

instead we drove around in a car.

trying not to kill bears.

as far as sucking the marrow of life i was failing miserably and as i reflected on this i was reminded of ecclesiastes 2:11

Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun.

my inability to be at peace in one of the most gorgeous locations in the world was a giant flashing red indicator of just how broken i am. i have spent immeasurable amounts of time and energy chasing after the wind. and once again god spoke to me. not in the same way as on the beach near santa barbara, but still clearly enough that i understood.

be still…

(and know that i am god)

of course i didnt stop to think about it at the time. i pushed right past it while trying to get in all the sights. because being still isnt something im very good at even if i like to think i am. even if god speaks to me and tries to get my attention while im on a journey to find and hear from him.

our first stop in the valley was to hike bridal veil falls which is like walking into the past. there were people around but the forest on either side of the trail seemed primitive. giant hunks of stone jutted out of mossy earth and stones the size of small cars huddled together near the stream at the base of the falls that feeds into the merced river. bridal veil earned its name as the wind whipped the water from the precipice into a cascade that flashed across the rock and gave birth to a mist that hovered around the base creating its own little weather system.

after taking a slew of pictures i stood there for a moment and was still as the mist freckled my face and shoulders. but it was only a moment as we were still in a rush to move on, trying to see as much as we could squeeze in before darkness came, which is certainly not the best way to experience a place like yosemite.

after bridal veil we drove over to the main lodge area and checked out the ansel adams store and the visitors center. i found out more about how glaciers carved this valley and how long it took them to do so, reinforcing my desire to be able to slow down and take it all in. but with daylight waning we hurried out and headed toward yosemite falls which was already shadowed as the late afternoon sun drifted slowly toward the elevated horizon of the enclosed valley.

we took a few pics and decided to head out into the meadow at the base of el capitan.

the sun was bright as we looked east toward half dome..

and yet was already beginning to set as we looked west toward turtle back dome..

in the fading light we paused in the meadow beneath el capitan..

and there as the light continued to relent i put my camera down and rested against a felled tree. slowly looking around, listening to the mixture of sounds ebbing with the wind i heard it again

be still…

(and know that i am god)

and i was still. and i knew god was. and i felt peace. the shalom that has come so rarely for me in this world always comes when i cease striving. so i ceased. i lost track of time and it seemed to have lost track of me. the wind murmured. the clouds passed. the stream giggled. the birds sang. and i was in the presence..

as dusk won the day we headed back to camp. i set about gathering firewood while jase and bryan tended to supper. there at the end of the day i felt refreshed and gathering wood seemed like a chore i would welcome every day if i could always do it in such a place. we lit a fire and devoured our food, toasting gods majesty and our enduring friendship at the close of yet another extraordinary day.

our experiences on day 8 marked a turn in my approach to the remainder of the trip. i knew there would still be days when we didnt have as much time as we wanted but i resolved to slow down as much as possible and enjoy these moments to the fullest. no more missing out on the wonder around me due to my discontent. i was going to carpe every diem from here on out.

i wanted to live deliberately…and not, when i came to die, discover that i had not lived.

must the show go on?

this is a post from several years ago but given some of whats going on i thought it was worth rejuvenating..

im prolly dating myself here but theres an old pink floyd song from the wall called the show must go on. the key lyrics are below:

there must be some mistake
i didnt mean to let them
take away my soul.
am i too old is it too late? 

where has the feeling gone?

the show must go on. 

many thanks to roger waters for rending my heart.

let me explain. i have many roles as a pastor. one them is shepherding the youth of our community in bible study and spiritual disciplines. this past summer we went to three major events in conjunction with our local ministry efforts. they included a trip to dallas to go to six flags and attend a two day conference put on by the bgct (baptist general convention of texas) and attended by thousands. it was quite a show. the worship was powerful. the concerts were loud and exciting. and the preachers were dynamic. 

our next trip was to onecamp in palacios tx where we met up with hundreds of other youth for a week of spiritual growth. palacios is right on matagorda bay and has beautiful sunrises despite the clammy humidity and near 100° temps. it was quite a week. the worship was powerful. the concerts were loud and exciting. and the preachers were dynamic.

finally we drove up to midland/odessa for rock the desert where we joined with thousands of others in a two day concert event featuring some of the hottest loudest christian rock bands around. the worship was powerful. the bands were loud and exciting. and the preacher was dynamic. 

when we werent touring the state in search of a big christian event this summer we were here in alpine – a small west tx town without a walmart. and as pastor im responsible for their spiritual growth and well being. over the course of several bible studies and worship services ive noticed something.

the youth are bored and uninterested. 

and im not even remotely surprised. im not sure exactly when these type of events became the thing but im guessing it roughly correlates with a drop in the quality of everyday spirituality among teens. we have placed our hopes for reaching teens in these big events but as a result we are raising yet another generation who will only be able to have a meaningful moment with god in a vast auditorium full of people loud music flashing lights and super-hyped preaching.

and im guilty. im as much to blame as the people who put the shows together or their bosses who gave them the go ahead. its true that i inherited a youth program already in motion on these events but i did very little other than ride along. 

now we are planning a ski trip.

and it makes me want to shout – but not hallelujah thank you jesus. im repulsed by the lack of depth in the church today and im part of the problem bc instead of boldly speaking out about the vital necessity of everyday spiritual disciplines…instead of demonstrating how they can lead to shalom and what that looks like – i have become a cog in the machine churning out event-based entertainment-oriented christ followers. 

so maybe im not cut out for this.

but maybe i am. and maybe its exactly why god brought me here. bc if theres one thing any of the teenagers in this town need its a real life – a life lived in a daily meaningful relationship with god. 

and maybe we dont need to pack the vans and haul em off to yet another over-hyped event where we come out on the other side all pumped up and set up for a let down. maybe we dont need to feed into the mentality that fosters this entertainment based culture we live in. maybe – just maybe – we should pull back from all the hype and take a look at psalm 46:10?

be still and know that i am god.
i will be exalted among the nations.
i will be exalted in the earth.

yeppers…maybe its time to question some things…

who is the prodigal?

a little while back i preached a sermon about the parable of the prodigal at my church and after addressing some technical difficulties it is now available. you can listen online or download it.

who is the prodigal?

may your new year be blessed..

the great adventure: interlude

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there are pieces of me somewhere in utah

beneath arches of stone

and in a canyon near flagstaff.

theres a piece across the big dam

on the vegas strip

and a handful in beatty and yucca valley.

i left a large chunk

on the shore in santa barbara

before leaving more in fresno

and quite a few around ansels old haunt

not to mention a couple in modesto.

some pieces remain in the city by the bay

where the sun sank into the pacific

and some are just across the golden gate

in john muirs woods

others i left at the base of mt shasta

or the high desert green of the oregon hills

with a number spread around a snowy crater

before that long drive through the night.

a bunch are in pike place market

being tossed with the fish

in the shadow of a needle

and theres a good number strewn across i-90

from the 5 through idaho

to the other side of butte.

there a scattering near the geysers

and a group along the hidden falls trail

to the west of jenny lake.

still more lay at the feet of the collegiate mountains

and a remnant are sprinkled along a lonely stretch of road

leading back over the mountains to aurora.

i left trying to find myself

and i returned with less of me to know.

but what remains is fuller

and deeper

and even sometimes

a little more sad

but mostly im stronger

for having been in the wild.

terror(ism)

explosions

and rubble

flames

and limp bodies

or maybe

just parts

buried

uncovered

and reburied

in grief

and mourning.

angry men

with deadly weapons

having out

their dispute

at the cost

of everyone

anywhere near them

its the end of the world as we know it and i feel fine

im stepping away from my travelogue for this post because this video is worth watching and i wanted to recommend it to all my readers here on the blog. its about 24 minutes so grab a drink and a comfy seat and take a look back at the history and influence of dispensationalism, or as its come to be known in pop-culture, the “end times” phenomena.

the great adventure: day 7

sleeping in a comfy hotel bed makes the prospect of sleeping outside on the ground that much more difficult, but its not nearly as bad when the campsite is going to be in the sierra national forest just outside of yosemite national park.

we got up and packed the car before grabbing a free breakfast at subway thanks to some gift cards i brought along, then headed almost due north up state highway 41 toward the park.

the drive from fresno to the park was an amazing study in contrast. the valley was relatively flat and full of golden fields with a few trees here and there, but driving up into the sierra nevada mountains was like entering another world, as the temperature dropped considerably and giant trees of various sorts lined the road on either side. we set camp at summerdale and made our way into the park along the curvaceous road leading to the south entrance, collectively deciding to hike the mariposa grove and take in the giant sequoias.

early in the hike we came across the grizzly giant; the oldest tree in the grove that could be anywhere from 1900 to 2400 years old. it stands 210 feet with a crazy huge base measuring 92 feet in circumference.

standing beneath these giants afforded great perspective. it also made me want to speak entish, but mostly for the sake of jase who apparently kept a tally of my tolkien references along the journey.

being in the presence of something so large and so old was awe-inspiring. i spent many moments staring up in wonder and amazement and many others thinking of what it must have been like for natives to pass through this grove hundreds of years before explorers stumbled upon them and started cutting them down and building roads through them.

as i mentioned previously in my post on day 2, the world that existed here before europeans landed in plymouth and headed west is fascinating to me. i find it inspiring and believe connecting with the creator was much simpler then.

walking in the mariposa grove was almost like being transported back to a more primitive time. as sunlight peppered the pathway and a cool breeze sifted through the dense wood, i felt as though i were walking in the presence of the creator. like the passage from genesis 2 where adam and eve:

heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day…

because even though i walked alone i was not alone. my footsteps seemed to echo as i lagged behind brian and jase, who are in much better shape and were well ahead of me. and the sway of the trees and the call of various birds and the complete and utter lack of a freeway or airport nearby brought me to a peaceful state of mind that is almost impossible to find back home in the big city, where every moment is confounded with much more industrial noises and technological distractions.

we reached the upper grove and took a rest near the old log cabin museum where a handful of other hikers were doing the same. there was an overly large crow hopping around hoping for a free snack as the light from a falling sun pierced the grove and made its feathers glisten. i never would have imagined thinking of a crow as beautiful but in this place it was fitting.

as something so normal and typically uninspiring transformed into something beautiful right before me i realized that this is what god does. its his pleasure to take everyday things and reveal their beauty and in this case he did it with just a hint of light at the right angle in the cool of the day.

he had whispered to me in the desert beneath the arches and at the canyon. he had spoken to me on the sands of the pacific under an early morning fog. and that afternoon in yosemite, he showed me who he is in a grove of ancient trees on the wings of a common raven.

and my hope for a personal transformation was quickened.

as the sun descended we realized our time was fading and headed back down the trail, hoping to make a quick drive to glacier point before sunset. after a few wrong turns on the trail we arrived at the car and made our way to the lookout, climbing to an elevation of 7200 feet before finding a place to park and walk over to the lookout. as we neared it the sky widened and a sense of the vastness we were approaching grew in me. half dome peeked at us from across the yosemite valley and seemed to grow as we closed in. arriving at the edge, the valley dropped away below us in glacially carved elegance and hid in mounting shadows as the sun neared the mountainous horizon.

we marveled with the others gathered there at the sheer enormity of the panorama, each of us taking pictures like crazy and stopping every so often to stare in near disbelief at the wonder of this place.

as i moved around taking in different angles a park ranger was giving a talk about how it was all formed and i only caught pieces of what he was saying but he explained at one point that half-dome was a misnomer because only about a quarter of the original face had been taken away by glacial drift leaving the amazing monolith in its current iconic state.

i guess quarter dome didnt sound as catchy but its name didnt matter nearly as much as the fact that it was there before me having a dramatic effect.

once again i felt as if i were standing in an untouched world and the purity of that sensation overwhelmed me. and very much like the moments i spent with my legs dangling over the edge of the south rim in big bend national park, i knew…..i knew that god was not a maniacal tyrant as he is often depicted. i knew he was not composing my pain and depression but that in a way i cant quite describe, he was orchestrating them into a larger more wonderful symphony of light and beauty.

as if only after tragedy might there be triumph.

and this thought drew my mind to jesus on the cross. the story of his brutal death and his victorious resurrection jumped into focus and with a tear in my eye i bowed my head and said a prayer of thankfulness, grasping if only for a moment the deeper magic from before the dawn of time that cs lewis wrote of in the lion, the witch and the wardrobe.

as these thoughts filled my mind we watched the sun set behind sentinel dome chased by the crescent moon and as the light faded we loaded back into the car for the trip back to our campsite.

it was night by the time we reached our spot and the stars were shining down at us through the treetops from millions of miles away. i gazed for a while as the milky way rolled by and felt the peace of an ancient god cover me. as i thought about the day and all that had happened so far i was grateful and slipped from prayer into sleep as comfortably on the ground as i had in the hotel.

the great adventure: day 6

when i opened my eyes it was 5am. the cool morning air had me burritoed up in my sleeping bag but as comfy as i was i couldnt sleep. the nearby waves and the promise of a morning spent walking along the beach and enjoying the peace i knew it would bring drew me out of my cocoon and i walked down to the shoreline with a growing sense of giddiness.

it was going to be a very good day.

i love the beach. i was raised in a suburb of houston within a quick hour drive to galveston and i spent a good bit of time there in my younger days. i still look forward to the chances i have to spend time there because theres something about the ocean – or the gulf – that has an inexplicably positive effect on me. its as if the push and pull of the waves helps bring me into shalom.

that morning was no exception

a lazy fog pushed in over the santa ynez mountains masking the coast in a grey mist that only faded slightly as the sun peaked over the hills and as i sat on a large chunk of driftwood i gave thanks for this place.

when i began planning this trip over a year ago my primary goal was to see the ocean. it was the catalyst that drove my imagination as i dreamed of living out these moments. each time i sat down to map out destinations and possible hikes i thought of looking out over the vast pacific and what that experience would be like, and now it had become a reality.

i had reached the end of the earth.

as i sat enjoying the peaceful sounds of waves and seagulls considering how my life had brought me to this, i was startled by the voice of god. it was soft but firm, and clear as the handful of other times i have heard it. not much was said but the weight of the words made my eyes water:

i am with you. even at the end of the earth.

as much as i had planned this trip seeking to hear from god and as much as i believed i would find him in places such as this i admit i did not expect these words. with the temperature hovering just above 50° a deep warmth seized me as their weight bowed my head and my tears mixed with the mist sweeping across my face.

i know that somewhere across the ocean there are a string of islands called hawaii and that even further there is another called japan. i know that eventually the ocean shores up against mainland china. but knowledge of maps didnt change the experience of standing there looking out over a seemingly endless expanse at the end of the world where god told me he was with me.

even there.

and the warmth that covered me reminded me of my first real experience of his presence on the south rim of the chisos mountains in big bend national park so many years prior. it engulfed me completely. my skeptical doubting once again came face to face with my creator and was silenced, if only for those brief moments.

after battling a debilitating depression for years and struggling just to hold onto a shred of faith i had once again heard from god and the message was clear: i am not alone. no matter how prevalent the darkness. no matter how empty i feel when facing trials and tragedy. no matter what kind of apathy or frustration i experience.

god is with me.

to be clear, my doubts and depression havent disappeared. my angst and frustrations are resilient and i still experience days where i just want to walk away from everything and not look back. but that one sentence breathed into my mind and heart lifted my chin and gave me resolve to hold onto faith and keep trusting that god is full of mercy and grace and that the world i long for is not imaginary.

and as i thought about this i remembered a bit of scripture from revelation 21. john describes what he sees and then records a declaration from jesus inaugurating the new heavens and earth:

1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. 4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” 5 And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.”

so what about the tragedies in my life? the loss and mourning? the broken relationships? the anger and pain? the loneliness and depression? the doubts and hopelessness? and beyond me, what of all the tragedies in the world? starving children? betrayal and abandonment? rape and murder? destruction and war? what of these? what becomes of the darkness that is so prevalent?

he is making all things new.

even if it takes a while.

theres a passage in the lord of the rings: the return of the king that takes place after the dark lord sauron has been defeated and the war of the ring has ended where samwise awakens to find himself and his companions alive and well; even the wizard gandalf whome he believed dead at the hands of the balrog. he sits up and ponders aloud:

Is everything sad going to come untrue?

this has been my longing for quite some time. since i became aware of the new heavens and earth idea in scripture i have yearned for that day and standing at the edge of the world where i felt gods presence and heard his reassurance, i was renewed.

and everything sad in my life began to come untrue.

brian eventually joined me on the beach and we spent a while longer reveling in the wonder of creation, including a couple of dolphins who frolicked together just beyond the breakers.

we had to be in fresno by evening to pick up jase from the airport so we packed up and cleaned up in our campgrounds amazing shower facility. it was so good to be clean again after a couple days and the feeling bolstered my sense of renewal.

before heading up to fresno we decided to go check out the stearns wharf pier in santa barbara and maybe get some souvenirs. brian met an interesting pelican and i got into a fight with moby dick which was basically a draw.

we picked up some shirts for our respective fams and hit the pch again heading north through san luis obispo to atascadero where we turned northeast on highway 41 and made our way through the golden hills to the valley. along the way there were vineyards and farms of all sorts lining the road. it was an interesting change from the temperate coastal area.

we made good time and arrived in fresno early enough to have a good supper before heading to the airport. i had already arranged to meet up with my friend dave wainscott, and we enjoyed some pretty decent mediterranean food just off the campus of fresno pacific university where he is a professor of biblical studies.

i have known dave for several years but had never met him personally and it was a great experience. hes such a cool guy and hes not paying me to say any of this. seriously. anyway – we talked about nerdy stuff and a bit about church planting and what it looks like to incarnate the gospel contextually. as always i was inspired by our conversation and look forward to seeing how our friendship continues to develop.

having checked into our free hotel courtesy of a bad experience with hotels.com on day 4 we headed over to the airport and picked up jase who was joining us for the second leg of our journey. i was sorry he had missed the first several days but excited to have him for the days that were ahead.

as we rearranged our packs for the following couple days in the wild we caught up on each others lives, and with the promise of yosemite we turned in for the night, looking forward to the rest of the trip and all that lay ahead.

my prayer that night was simple and full of thanksgiving; gods words from that morning still resounding in my mind and heart. he had spoken to me at the end of the earth and sent me further into the wilderness but i was not alone and the company of my brothers was in some way an extension of his presence.

it felt like the adventure was only just beginning.

there are no good old days (the promise is ahead)

taking a quick break from my travelogue to post this sermon i preached at community north baptist church on july 29.

there are no good old days (the promise is ahead)

you can listen online or download it as an mp3 and play it on your own media device.

the great adventure: day 5

im extremely bummed to announce that in a recent restore of my iphone my notes from the trip were all lost & i am having to write strictly from memory which means the more detailed parts will be missing. i apologize for this and hope it will still be compelling reading.

we slept in. i wouldnt normally feel bad about that on vacation but this trip required massive amounts of travel and sleeping in one place usually meant missing some good daylight somewhere beautiful. but after a good sleep and a refreshing shower we headed into joshua tree national park.

having survived death valleys crazy climate we werent very anxious to spend a long time in the mojave desert and decided to hit a couple of spots and then head for the coast. we chose to hike barker dam and then check out the keys view.

barker dam usually has a small lake giving off a mirror effect on the granite boulders and monoliths surrounding it for an amazing visual but the recent drought had dried it up and left only remnants of its existence.

fortunately we were still able to see some interesting sights, such as the ancient cave drawings on some of the formations. a reminder that life has survived around here for a very long time. it made me wonder how different this place may have been back then and what the people who etched these petroglyphs must have been thinking about life and their surroundings. its so easy to think of prehistoric people as sort of unthinking creatures driven by necessity but the diversity of the images alone shows that they had a lot on their minds.

as we drove south to the keys view we passed a forest of joshua trees that seemed prehistoric, as if a dinosaur might just poke his head out from behind them at any moment. i never imagined so many in congregation as my only familiarity with them came from the sparsely populated backgrounds in the u2 photos. their physical attributes also seemed like something from another world. half cactus, half tree, these ancient organisms survive for centuries on very little water and massive amounts of sunshine.

they are truly a testimony to the power of life and looking at them i couldnt help but think of the creator and how scripture tells of his creation of life by the words of his mouth; as if merely his breathing were an artistic endeavor. in genesis 2:7 we find

then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.

the intimacy of this act never seems to lose its stirring effect on me. its like god reached down with his hands and scooped up the dirt he had spoken into being, then shaped it carefully and put his lips on the formed human in order to impart life. its the first kiss in the bible and its wrapped up in the story of how we are made. this got me thinking about how closely we are tied to our creator and his creation. and thinking along those lines almost always carries me into a place of worship where i find myself thankful and ready to praise him.

it also spoke to me in my particular despair. i was determined to find and hear from god on this journey. after hiking through an ancient forest of trees that thrive in desert conditions where nutrients are few and what little rain there may be quickly disappears under the scorching sun, i was beginning to think of my situation in a radically different light.

given the ordeal of the past 3 years i had been in a desert wilderness spiritually and yet god had provided enough for us to survive and even thrive as we brought our fourth child into this world in april of 2011. i cant even begin to think of my world without him yet i hadnt stopped to consider just how much i had been blessed in the midst of my personal wilderness experience.

it was as if god had been whispering to me through the gift of life long before i ever jumped in the car to take this trip and find him.

we drove south to keys view along a 5000 ft ridge of the san bernadino mountains and took in the panorama of san jacinto peak, palm srpings, and the san andreas fault running southeast toward the salton sea.

despite the magnificent view, a combination of los angeles smog and a population of aggressive bees new to the area kept us from staying too long and we headed west after a quick picnic lunch in 29 palms.

our path took us across i-10 to pamona then north to the foothills freeway and west again to pasadena and onto the 101 (here called) ventura freeway just north of the hollywood sign. we had been experiencing the effects of los angeles pollution throughout the southwest but as we drew closer to the city itself the sky grew steadily whiter. it was a cool 72° in the heat of the day in late june but i could hardly see the mountains and i wondered what it mustve been like 50+ years ago without all the pollution.

hitting the coast at ventura we could hardly believe it. neither of us had ever seen the pacific and our immediate reaction was nothing short of awe. the ocean spread out to the southwest and a heavy bank of dark clouds were pushing in to the northwest masking the hills along the pch. the sun peeked out from behind them from time to time as we made our way to santa barbara, but for the most part it was overcast as a front pushed in from the pacific.

we set camp a few miles west of the city at ocean mesa by el capitan canyon and watched the sunset over the hills while the ocean roared at us from the south. we didnt get to see the sunset over the water but it was still a glorious dusk at the edge of the earth and i was content.

our hunger overtook our awe and we headed back into the nearby town of isla vista for something to eat.

we found a great local place called super cucas that had fantastic food and the largest portions we had ever encountered. neither of us were able to finish our meal and we both knew we would sleep well that night.

the restaurant was located right next to ucsb and a good number of students shuffled in and out as we ate. brian wondered aloud about what it must be like to go to such a school. i concluded that summer school cant be so bad when you are next to the ocean in a beautiful climate.

we finished up and topped the tank off before heading back to our campground and tucking in for the night. the swell of the ocean and the hum of the pch mixing with the wind created a strange cacophony of sounds. before drifting off i thought of how far we had come and how many experiences were already behind us after only 5 days. i thanked god and once again asked him to speak to me but sleep came quickly and i dreamed of another world.